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Arti's Mind Dump

The Biggest Midget Tells ALL!!!

for shits and giggles
Dear 26,

You were a fun year. A year of experimenting and super fun but you were also pretty shitty. Not to say that it was shitty bad, but shitty as in experience. But you know, experience is better than not knowing. So what do you do when you evolve to 27? Take life by the horns and stop giving a fuck. Yeah I said it, stop giving a fuck. That has been my philosophy so far and I'm sticking to it. My friends, my real friends, has dwindled to just a handful of people. Sure, I thought people were really awesome and cool but then I find out that they're not all that. There are a few people I will call friend and that's literally, quite a few.

I've learned with age that you stop giving a fuck about anything. The things you thought used to matter to you when you were younger, don't matter anymore. I wish I could of imparted this wisdom when I was like... oooooh 21? But it's better I learned it myself and that's better than having someone spoon feed you life experiences.

Who uses livejouranl anymore? Twitter's all the rage right? YEEEEEA right! So anyways, 26, awesome year. Thanks for teaching me how messed up life can be and how much of a bitch it is. You have shown me a way that maybe, someday, I will learn to become more in touch with my inner fuck-your-life way. 27, I look forward to see how you turn out. With what 26 imparted with me, let's make my life and 27 a little more interesting and less reserved shall we?

The internet is a cruel place. Reality, you're a fucking mother of all fuckers! I love the lessons taught onto me. Masochistic love? I do enjoy it.

If I could sum up what 26 has given me; to give me a new look on life, it's to just not listen or take crap from any body. I am not someone's bitch to talk down to and take their abuse. I'm my own person. I'm not here to listen to you bitch to me about how annoying I am because you're having a bad day. Sorry. I'm not into mood swinging people who can't handle life because they can't act like adults.

You know what? Fuck that. Fuck all of that.

27, let's just have fun with this, yeah? I want to see what you'll teach me and what 28's impression will be.

I am old. And I welcome it with open arms.

Gay Marriage
for shits and giggles
What are your take on it? Now with New York being the 6th state to make it happen, what is the view or take on gay marriages? How are they now and what do people think about them?

Less of a journal, more as a discussion.

Let's talk

The Cluuuuuubs
for shits and giggles
I am not really into them. Lounges I think I'm big on and bars and pubs. Been able to experience some new places lately and they've been pretty cool. Hopefully I'll be able to hit some more up this year. Want to find a really awesome place to just hang out and chill during the summer. Like a rooftop patio <3

for shits and giggles
So I've been going to the gym for about 2 months. I managed to get a shot of me when I started out and up till now. I've been coached on some of my workouts. I've also changed my diet to hopefully speed things up. Just been eating healthier and lighter. I've increased my weights when I work out. I'm enjoying the advice I get from the trainers at the gym and from friends to. So without further ado... MY BODY!!! D:

Progress????Collapse )

I have shown little progress but I'm hoping that will all change. Thanks for the support guys :D *hugs*

for shits and giggles
It's hot outside. TOO hot! I'm planning on making this day another gym day! Even though I seem to be improving my physique, I can't feel but find that I still lack a sense of maturity. I should of taken lessons from my older friends, though I find I have been accepting some of their ways of life.

I find that there are sediments dirtying myself and finding that I have a feeling of being betrayed but from what? My past is my past and that's what happened. I find myself just being generally accepting of things and putting it behind me. But to feel attached somehow to someone that has moved on, I don't think I should feel that way anymore.

I've bluntly told myself that I am not in highschool and I should drop the trivial drama from said existence. If I am to look back into the past and redevelop these feelings, what sense is there to move forward if I keep looking back? I can't help but feel I haven't really moved on but in retrospect, I think I've grown in many ways.

If I had been told "It is what it is" ONE MORE TIME... I think I'd just go completely mad. But rather, I found it's kind of the way things are and that as much as you'd like to question it and find/make up reasons to discredit that fact, it is what it is.

I know I've been using LJ to approach certain levels of my emotions. It's like my outlook on life. My stance and where I stand mentally.

For now, I think moving forward is what I do best. I leave the past where it belongs because it has no place in the present. My future is where I want to end up at.

Oh LJ... I missed you so much. I don't pay attention to you a lot. I'll try to show up more and spend more time on you <3 my original twitter :3

for shits and giggles
It's bout time I just do things for me and move forward. I plan to just go out more and have more fun. I would wait for things to happen but I find that waiting gets me no where. And if I want something to happen I have to go out there and explore!

It's a good eye opener to realize how much of it I've missed and that it's in its best interest to do things with friends. Meet new people, explore the world a little. I've been caught up in this feeling where I have isolated and locked myself away from the world. Want to break free of that.

There is so much out there and waiting it away isn't a good approach to things. Time to leave the past in the past, let bygones be bygones, and move onwards.

A destination awaits. An unknown future to be found. And places to explore.

I will move forward and live a little any chance I have. Be happy! Things are working out the way they should. I shouldn't feel like I'm being left behind. I hope it all works out. I'll find my happiness, my way, my life, someday :)

Whoring for Porn
for shits and giggles
I have been in a massive rut when it comes to drawing. No ideas, just working on styles and trying to find another feel. As much as I'd like to become ever become well known, I think that drawing porn or porn anything gets you noticed a lot more quicker.

But it's such a cheap shot. Easily impressive because it fulfills people's fantasies. I would like to take the time to refine my skills and have it turn more professional. Though I think some time in a proper school would help teach me some of those things.

There are a lot of talented artists out there and I would love to have half of their techniques and styles.

I'll get around to drawing more. The only REAL reason why I haven't posted anything is because my scanner is outdated ever since I uploaded Snow Leopard on my Mac. So I've had to learn digitally and it's SO DAMN NEW I have to take little steps to get used to it.

Someday... someday...

for shits and giggles
Hey it's Livejournal! A place where I can actually type more than 140 words. I think I'll get back to ya :D

Where Is My Happiness?
for shits and giggles
To what extent do you sacrifice yourself to find happiness? In relationships, I've seen the best of it and I've seen the worst of it. How can someone stay happy in a relationship that doesn't make them happy?

Are people scared to leave what they once knew? The fear of not having someone there and missing them? It's hard and I believe it is a fear. Here's a situation: this guy I know from my sister, left his wife because he wasn't happy. He left because he wasn't setting a good example for his son. The message was he was sending to his son was "stick with it, even if it doesn't make you happy." It's been a year since his divorce and he misses her. He did it because he felt it was the right decision.

Where does your happiness lie? If you aren't happy with your relationship, would you still stay because you're afraid? Would you stay because of the slings and arrows everyone would throw and shoot at you? Fear of being singled out as doing wrong and causing someone that people care for, to suffer?

It's crushing... because you felt you were happy with someone and come to a realization that you... aren't happy. The person you've been with, you loved for years... ends up being the person that holds you back.

Is it selfish to be happy? To find happiness where happiness is lost?

I have, and am seeing the pursuit of happiness and the trouble it causes to find it. Happiness is, in the beginning, hard. You go through tears and disappointments only to find on the end of it is where you're really happy. But even getting to that end, trying to go to find your happiness... the things inbetween will break you down if you're not strong and sure that happiness is at the end of that tunnel.

But at the end, is it happiness you found? Or are you back in the same situation that you once left? Or a situation that you regret?

I examine this with the situation I am faced with tonight. The tears it brings. The trouble it causes.

Are we not happy anymore that we need more that we need to try something else to find out where our happiness lies?

I am lost... not sure where it is but know I'm trying to find it aimlessly. Trying to figure out other people's happiness. Where are they and if I can help.

No need for tears... well... maybe just this once. It's been a while

for shits and giggles
Finally!! Next week begins my vacation. Been such a long time. UGH!! I'm really excited about it! It'll be my present to myself before I begin school again. But what to do when you have free time?! :O Well aside from Feral!, I'll have to come up with something. Maybe a day out to Wonderland? Or... dare I say... the Ex?

I got a couple more days to take for extra vacation. So I'll see if I can't do a weekend dealie :) Well take care guys! It's a few more days till Feral! This should be fun!

For your big FAT information, the Canadian cons so far have been really fun! Surprisingly fun... I don't know if I can go back to US cons. Hm... shocking???